Death of the Author[s]

incredibly good stuff, cannot wait for a second part, hell yeah

Hello and welcome to my Extremely Long Running Commentary  review. (spoiler warning for other players, this comment is entirely for the creator's entertainment)

Me, reading the first 2 screens of text and remembering the title: oh no. ohhh nooo.

The blind date scene had me cackling, it was such a real conversation and also immediately endeared me to the protagonist. Incredibly effective opening scene.

God, the character writing? The dialogue quality is bonkers. You write such real, funny, entertaining characters. And the way you describe things is so comedic and memorable. Gah.

The first menu you use, the head bonking...great use of repetition. Great use of forcing the player to make this action of harm a decision rather than a passive piece of narration, it hits (haha) so much harder. (side note, you describe the feelings of being a struggling creative so well. I love how you put all these experiences into words.)

You know that part in Kingdom Hearts 2 where they're like "They stole our [___]! They even stole the word [___]!!" ? Anyway I fucking love this game.

Something I keep noticing while playing: the way you utilize pauses in the text is really great, and I hope to do something similar in my future games. I feel like I am learning how to Game Good from playing this.

THE ANGEL. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE ANGEL. HELLO??? (Also I love how you use your BGM, the music shapes my interpretation of each scene in such great ways. Also how you use silence? I don't think I would have been so liberal with having silent scenes, and it's widening my view of what can be an entertaining VN.)

THE WAY SHE CURSES LEA WITH IMMORTALITY OUT OF SPITE. HILARIOUS. I love this game.

Angel: "If you eat this it will kill you." Lea: "bet [STUFFS MOUTH]"
BAHAHAHAHA, god...never threaten an unwilling immortal who has already attempted suicide with death. This game is so funny. This rules. "Can you CHILL?" bahahahaha

Best dodgeball match ever. Man I love sports anime.

Holy fucking shit I love Kai. This is a character type I adore, 'charming' faux-friendly evil. And he talks like a transmigration isekai protag. I love everything about him. Aauuugh. Evil evil evil. That scene ended so good, he's awful.

Now it's a mermaid story??? This VN is taking me to so many places. I'm having a great time.

oh nooo mermaid story was too powerful, I'm emotions now

the "Fuck off" bit was written so well

Mental Crystal being the voice of reason in Lea's head is so good. I love mental Crystal. I wish I had my own mental Crystal.

Kai appears again to charm the protagonist and I jump out of my seat and start applauding. Getting to experience him from someone who isn't afraid of him is fun. He seems sooo charming for unknown reasons. He's sooo evil. I love him.

"you gained a will to live not even two minutes ago, and you're already going to fucking die" I love this writing

I love how weak for girls Lea is. "Oh no she's cute" "Oh no I might be gay" girl....

Lea's post-kiss freak out is so relatable. The "I did something that got a negative reaction and now I am withering, I am being pathetic, I am waiting for reassurance, I want the person I wronged to comfort me"...not something I see much in writing, but something I definitely see in life. Gah. She's just like me fr.

VIVI

Lea please stop dissociating. Please. VIVI !!!!!!

oh my god not dissociating wasn't enough

aaauuuugh you hit on my favorite narrative thread, a little thing i like to call karmic entitlement. "I've been through so much. I deserve her." THAT THERE. Is my favorite thing to write and also think about. And it's here in this game!! This game has everything.

I DID NOT EXPECT HOW THAT GOD RUN IN WOULD GO. That ruled. That fucking slapped. Holy shit. Such good dread, very effective, absolutely threw me for a loop, hell yea

I love that the game asks what I had been wanting to ask Lea, which is "Why the fuck didn't you use your privilege on Vivi?". And then I get my answer and it's so disappointing (GIRL YOU KISSED HER, HOW DID YOU FORGET? I know you were mid panic attack and in pain and in shock from seeing someone die and flipping your shit but also GIRL HOW)

KAI YIPPIE

hahahahahaha he has a fucking health potion. I knew the second it was described as red. This RPG fucko hits all my comedy spots.

Hey. Hey. That game? That game ruled. I am so your fan now. I 100% am invested and am in support of part 2. I love this story. This rules. man. I feel so good. What a satisfying playing experience. 10/10 will be rolling this story around in my head for days.

I love this vn so much I cant wait for a part 2

AGHHHHH this was so good!!!! This story went in so many different ways I wasn't expecting, yet I fuck with every single one of them. You've already read some of my thoughts as I played but this really is something special, and I would love love a continuation.

Lea is so sopping wet and pathetic, I love how you never shied away from showing her fucking up, even when it was a matter of life and death, especially with the whole Vivi thing. That hurt. And it made me angry at Lea, which is something writer usually tell you not to do with your protagonist, but I'm so glad you did. I love her and I'm scared to see what'll happen to her.

On that  note, I also love all of her teammates, even Ark despite her attitude. Or because of her attitude. I hope we get to know them more sometime in the future.

Also god, fuck Kai. Fuck Kai from the very moment he appeared. You have no idea how my heart sank with that final scene, I need Ark to drive that sword through his forehead right now D:

Also the art for the sprites and the character designs is very nice and cute, and the writing is perfect at being comedic or very hurtful when it needs to. I had such a good time reading this. I can't wait to see if there's more in the future.

ARK MA'AM CAN I PLEASE PRIVATE MESSAGE YOU

what a ride! i really like the flavor of a lot of the dialogue. crystal referring to herself as "daddy" is very correct. there's so much to latch onto here, so many questions. very cool, very fun, and so many lines that drive-by you hard in the gut

What a marvelous VN this is~  All of the characters are so vibrant and thoughtfully written, each with their own distinct energy and portrait art—and my, you do such an excellent job at developing them all through their words, expressions, and actions alike~

The twists and turns in the plot kept me on my toes; I never quite knew where the narrative was going to go next, and I absolutely love that in a story (when executed as well as you've done here, that is, heheh).  For that matter, the action / battle sequences were quite nicely done, too~

And the music!  The background music itself is fantastic, working wonders to add depth to the VN; and you've shown good judgment on when and where to use music versus having none at all, heheheh.

Superb work, well and truly~  I'm itching to see where this story goes from here!

this game was incredible, just oozing from top to bottom with an authenticity that draws you in from the moment it starts until the second it ends, not letting up at any point in between and breaking your heart over and over again all the while. the depiction of lea's headspace in the aftermath of their loss and those swings from apathy to despair feel all to raw, all too relatable. i'm holding out for their happiness in subsequent parts, of which i screamed at my screen to learn about there being. i need more of this as of yesterday, i'm beyond invested- just amazing. 

I loved this! Turned out to be WAY different from what I expected. A lot of well written gut-wrenching moments, and really well done action scenes. Your art is fantastic too; so many good character designs! I'm a big fan of Kacy! ^^ Can't wait for the next part!

brilliant absolutely soggy pathetic useless protagonist she is amazing. i fuck with it

this story certainly went in directions i was not expecting. im impressed by the characterisation of everyone, even side chars seemed like theres depth to them waiting to be explored. quite liked the hype battle sequences even tho they were only text

ps.crystal and vivi are so cute. love them sm </3

-Story= gud

-Writing= gud

-Character Design= gud and crazy

Overall gud

a fucking masterpiece of a menhera vn, it depicts the severest self-loathing in the aftermath of death (and the abandonment it causes) and the ugly triumph of the worst things you can think about yourself. also, it's set in a shounen backdrop. ie the best kind. IT'S ALSO EXTREMELY FUNNY!!!!!